Sorry my blogs have been so sluggish lately, but I have so much work to do sometimes that I simply cannot breathe. I swim through mounds of tasks, menial and herculean, on a daily basis, and I have nearly drowned many times. One of the academic librarians at our great Eyrieville University told me that she dropped out of her PhD program due to chest pains resulting from extreme panic attacks. All around me graduate students are dropping like novice soldiers in an epic battle with bloodthirsty monsters, and I sometimes wonder how long my paltry shield will hold out against their ceaseless onslaught.Also, I desperately need a job for the upcoming summer. The powers that be at Eyrieville U have slashed my department's budget once again, and there will be no classes for the Teaching Fellows this summer. I have sent out applications to the local community colleges, but few have responded, and those that have all tell me how impressive my credentials are before they inform me that yes, they have no bananas; they have no bananas today. So, blogensteins, you must help me choose my summer job. Here are some choices:
- Lame-ass Book Clerk at local Christian bookstore.
- Lame-ass Book Clerk at local used bookstore.
- Lame-ass Book Clerk at Our Lady of Barnes & Noble.
- Male prostitute (The wife might protest, depends on the money).
- Ninja assassin-for-hire.
- Domestic cat-trainer.
- Wandering minstrel.
Cast your vote for my pathetic employment! Or suggest another pathetic job not listed here! Woo! Overeducated unemployment is great!
5 comments:
Isn't it amazing how intelligent a person can be and yet be completely unable to find something to do with themselves?
I don't know what to tell you. Maybe you could work something out with April so you could answer phones at your house for a small fee.
Then there's always nude modeling. But only venture that if you're ready to walk a path of tears and heartache.
You can do it! I have had many professors with doctorates who were barely literate, so if those morons can do it, you can!
(Of course, if you decide to quit, that doesn't make you a... uh, I'd better get out of this sentence while I can.)
In the meantime, I'm voting for ninja assassinating. Wand'ring minstreling is probably more fun, but the pay stinks.
I appreciate the vote of confidence, a-dub. I'm not planning on quitting, but it would be nice if the powers that be in our great state legislature would quit slashing education funds, sos us po' chillun could gets us a J-O-B.
And I agree with ninja assassination as the best choice. It's an up-and-coming profession. Eyrieville U has a BA in Ninja Assassination Studies starting this fall (it's housed in the Business School).
You should hire yourself out as someone prepared to stand over peoples' shoulders as they eat their dinner and whisper, "Remember the Athenians, sire."
Good idea, but I don't think Darius of Persia is hiring right now. He's always accepting applications, though...
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