The Professin' Profession: The Prologue

Oh my, gentle blogheads.

Oh my.

Today, as I sat in my cubicle reading through the rough drafts of my two giganto-projects for the semester, projects that comprise my total grade for two classes, I heard Prof. Criesalot burst into the office bewailing something at the tippity tops of her overworked lungs.

Prof. Criesalot: (hurling herself into her swivel chair) Mwaaaah-hoooo-hoo! *snuffle, snuffle* Mwahh-haaa-hooo-hoo!

Prof. Schadenfreude: (supressing a grin) Gee, Criesalot, what's the matter?

Prof. Criesalot: Mwaah-hoo! Dr. Supravizor called me *snuffle* into her office today *snuffle* to tell me that she was . . . MWAHHH-HOO-Hoo-hoo0o0o0o0o! . . . concerned about one of my student evaluations from last *snuffle, sniffle, snuffle* last semester.

Prof. Dropeaves: (peeking around her cubicle wall) Really? What did it say?

Prof. Criesalot: O0oo00oo0o0o0o0o-hoo0o0o! Sh-she said the st-student compl-plained about me letting everyone go early from class all the t-time and n-n-n-not explaining the readings from the book f-f-fully . . . *snuffle* . . . I g-guess I just SUCK AS A TEACHER!!! MwO0oO0oo0O-HAaaa-oooo000000ooo!

Prof. Schadenfreude: Gee, I don't think you suck. I mean, how often did you let them go early?

Prof. Criesalot: *snuffle*

Prof. Dropeaves: I let my students go early sometimes. How early did you release them?

Prof. Criesalot: (buries her face in her hands) *sniffle, snuffle*

[Student enters with a question for Criesalot, looking embarrassed]

Student: Um . . . Professor Crazypot?

Prof. Criesalot: Criesalot. Did you need something?

Student: I just wanted to turn in my essay revision; I sent you an e-mail about it.

Prof. Criesalot: Just put in on the desk . . . wait . . . what do you think of me as a teacher? Whatever you say, it won't affect your grade.

Student: Uuuhhmmm . . .

Prof. Criesalot: Come on, you can tell me. Honestly.

Student: You're pretty good, I guess. Sometimes you rush through things too fast, though. Maybe if you didn't let us out so early, we could spend more time on the material . . .

[Criesalot rushes from the office, weeping loudly; Student stands awkwardly against the wall]

Prof. Dropeaves: She'll be right back.

Annnnd . . . scene.

I wish I was making this stuff up, me bloggys, truly I do.

Stay tuned for more installments of "The Professin' Profession"!