We've all come across the word, sometimes on Christmas cards, sometimes as part of the title of a lame children's Christmas music CD (i.e. "Cool Yule"), sometimes in the lyrics of those most sacred Christmas carols themselves:"Bring us out a table and spread it with a cloth; bring us out a cheese and of your Yuletide loaf..."
Madam, pray tell us what "Yule" or "Yuletide" is all about.
"Oh my, it's simply the most beautiful and magical of all the pagan celebrations; it's the festival of the Holy Winter Solstice!"
I'm sorry? Don't you mean the celebration of the birth of the Messiah? You know, the King of Israel?
"I don't know much Middle Eastern history, but Yuletide is the sacred time after the woolgathering and spinning where everyone must be given an item of clothing or risk being taken by the Yule Cat. Also, we slaughter a pig and dance around his burning carcass long into the night. Now if yule excuse me, I must attend to my brew...um, I mean...wassail."
What?! 'Yuletide' is some sort of crazy witches' party?! You dance around a burning pig and give each other woolen presents to ward off some evil cat? What about the "Yule Log"? Doesn't that have some sort of Christian symbolism behind it?
"Good Priestess, no! The Yule Log is an offering to the fertility gods and the only way to ensure that our houses are safe from lightning, hailstorms, and unfriendly magic. Now I really must ask you to go; you're going to wake my daemon...I mean...pet iguana."
Oh well, there you have it, folks. I guess everyone's a little bit pagan these days. Have a Happy Yule! May your cattle be fertile and your hearths be free of dark wizardry! But be productive and never lazy, lest you incur the wrath of...
THE YULE CAT!
3 comments:
I can't believe I know that now. I feel so cool...
... maybe even "Yule Cool!"
Hey! I know that cat! At least there's no Yule Cocker Spaniel. That would chill me to the dinosaur bone. Or the yulesaur bone. Whichever.
Looks more like the Yule Fat to me. Bastard Fork!
Post a Comment