| The Colbert Report | Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c | |||
| Sarah Palin Will Be Missed | ||||
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Sure, I know the pundits are whispering in their online polls about Palin '12, but I think we've finally seen the last of this insufferably buffoonish clown and her childish attempt to be taken seriously in the political world. Did that sound too harsh? I'm sorry. Let me paraphrase in a euphemistic paragraph that won't upset her oblivious fans:
Regrettably, I sense that Governor Sarah Palin's participation in the vicious media cat-fight that is American politics has come to a premature end. All those long words and bothersome facts became too much of a burden for a woman of the future. How can she be expected to read up on the issues when there are so many Alaskan animals to slaughter? And those hideous newshounds simply would not stop reporting on her pregnant daughter, who she tried to keep safely out of the public eye by hiding her in plain sight at every single one of her political rallies, speeches, debates, and televised events. Plus, who wants to be a "lame duck" for 140 days? Not this straight-shooter. (*Wink*) She's a maverick who tears down bridges to nowhere in our post-9/11 world . . . only now she'll do it at home while writing her multimillion-dollar memoir. Take it easy, Sarah, and don't forget to spell-check!
There. Does that satisfy the Palinites? How anyone could legitimately respect that woman will forever be beyond my belief.
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