Oh my, gentle blogheads.
Oh my.
Today, as I sat in my cubicle reading through the rough drafts of my two giganto-projects for the semester, projects that comprise my total grade for two classes, I heard Prof. Criesalot burst into the office bewailing something at the tippity tops of her overworked lungs.
Prof. Criesalot: (hurling herself into her swivel chair) Mwaaaah-hoooo-hoo! *snuffle, snuffle* Mwahh-haaa-hooo-hoo!
Prof. Schadenfreude: (supressing a grin) Gee, Criesalot, what's the matter?
Prof. Criesalot: Mwaah-hoo! Dr. Supravizor called me *snuffle* into her office today *snuffle* to tell me that she was . . . MWAHHH-HOO-Hoo-hoo0o0o0o0o! . . . concerned about one of my student evaluations from last *snuffle, sniffle, snuffle* last semester.
Prof. Dropeaves: (peeking around her cubicle wall) Really? What did it say?
Prof. Criesalot: O0oo00oo0o0o0o0o-hoo0o0o! Sh-she said the st-student compl-plained about me letting everyone go early from class all the t-time and n-n-n-not explaining the readings from the book f-f-fully . . . *snuffle* . . . I g-guess I just SUCK AS A TEACHER!!! MwO0oO0oo0O-HAaaa-oooo000000ooo!
Prof. Schadenfreude: Gee, I don't think you suck. I mean, how often did you let them go early?
Prof. Criesalot: *snuffle*
Prof. Dropeaves: I let my students go early sometimes. How early did you release them?
Prof. Criesalot: (buries her face in her hands) *sniffle, snuffle*
[Student enters with a question for Criesalot, looking embarrassed]
Student: Um . . . Professor Crazypot?
Prof. Criesalot: Criesalot. Did you need something?
Student: I just wanted to turn in my essay revision; I sent you an e-mail about it.
Prof. Criesalot: Just put in on the desk . . . wait . . . what do you think of me as a teacher? Whatever you say, it won't affect your grade.
Student: Uuuhhmmm . . .
Prof. Criesalot: Come on, you can tell me. Honestly.
Student: You're pretty good, I guess. Sometimes you rush through things too fast, though. Maybe if you didn't let us out so early, we could spend more time on the material . . .
[Criesalot rushes from the office, weeping loudly; Student stands awkwardly against the wall]
Prof. Dropeaves: She'll be right back.
Annnnd . . . scene.
I wish I was making this stuff up, me bloggys, truly I do.
Stay tuned for more installments of "The Professin' Profession"!
...he's watching, and he's worse than Santa. 
Oops...how'd that one get in there? 
OK, so this last one isn't terrifying. But you have to admit that the idea of bunnies high on candy and behind the wheel (with nothing left to lose) is pretty scary.
